Into-Me-You-See

Oh to be loved.

Funny how we spend so much of our lives searching for love, wanting it, yearning after it. When it finally comes it scares us half to death! I find myself standing in the face of love, wanting to run for the hills. Afraid. Afraid that it is too good to be true. Afraid of Intimacy. Intimacy: Into-Me-You-See. What if he sees... me? With all my flaws, mistakes...all my imperfections. What will happen then? There are only two choices when it comes to this point. 1. Run away (lame) or 2. let him in. Let him love me. Love him. Feel the fear. Let go.

Be still my little soul. My pitter-pattering heart. I choose number 2.

So Not Fair

You would think one would realize life isn't fair at age 3. However for me, a fully grown 25 year old, this is still a lesson I am learning. At times I want so bad to have the same situations as my neighbor, or receive the same blessings as my friends. Sitting knee deep in problems of my own, that I feel have been "cast upon me," I want my neighbors life even more. But if there is one thing I have learned in my 25 years of living it is that ingratitude gets you no where. In fact, not only does it keep you stagnate, it makes you feel bad and makes you look like a schmuck.

So gratitude for problems? Yup, that's the way it is done. Understanding that the God in all his goodness allows his children to pass through struggles, because he loves us. Remembering that tests are not supposed to be fair, that's their nature.


I suppose the only one thing that is "fair" about life is that it is unfair for everyone. Every single person on this planet has trials and troubles. We're all in this together.

Rainy Days

It's rainy days like today that make me want to turn on some Bobby Dylan, eat dark chocolate and read a fantastically funny book.